The Ilya Saga … My Thoughts
Well, well, well Ilya …
… make up your freakin’ mind, will you? Please. For the sake of all hockey fans, not only in North America, but even those who love hockey in Russia, or the Russian Federation, or Soviet Union, or whatever they are calling themselves this week. Sign a contract please. For the fans.
It’s been 58 days since free agency began for the NHL off-season, yet you are somehow still a free agent. You are one of the best all around offensive players in the NHL, yet for some reason no one wants to sign you to a contract?
Why? Whyyyy? WHYYYYYYYYYYY?
When you initially did not resign a contract in Atlanta, I figured it was because you wanted to win (the Stanley Cup that is) … something that is clearly not possible to do in Atlanta. A fair assessment on your part.
But then, I found out it was because you wanted something in the range of 110 million dollars over ten years … or something similar that has NHL owners cringing. Does Atlanta even make $110 million dollars in ten years? No wonder they shipped you out.
At this point, I figured, “Oh, he’s just a greedy, money grabbing, good-for-nothing prima donna who wants to get paid excessively (even by pro-athlete standards) to win personal titles.”
AND THEN, you accepted a trade to the New Jersey Devils. Wait … what?
Ok. Someone needs to explain this to me. One of the premier offensive players in the NHL accepted a trade to the most historically defensive team in the all of sport, the New Jersey Devils. A team that is also known for not giving too many outrageous contracts. We all know that this is because GM Louie is usually pretty stingy with his signings. Of course, I will later be proved wrong. I made an assumption that was grossly wrong.
Ok. So now that that issue is clear as mud, you were promptly eliminated from the playoffs by the Philadelphia Flyers. Therefore, you didn’t win a cup.
Fine. So we’ll move on to a team that has a more offensive approach, and one that has a chance of winning the cup. Right? Right.
Wrong. You opt to resign in New Jersey, 17 years for $102 million dollars. A contract that was CLEARLY in violation of the salary cap. One may call it circumvention. And through a long drawn out process, the deal was rejected by the NHL. And you are an unrestricted free agent once again.
*Blaine’s head explodes*
Ilya. Give your head a shake. Then get your foot stuck in a bear trap. Then wait for a real bear to show up. You are driving me up the wall. Not only do you want an exuberant amount of money. You want to win a Stanley Cup. You don’t want to be in Atlanta (understandably). You want to be an offensive superstar. You are still in talks with New Jersey. And you don’t have a contract signed yet? Whoa. Surprise surprise. It’s not like your asking for too much or anything … . *cough*
Ok, let’s put this into perspective here … You are asking for more than what ANY human being can ask for. And you are making this last way to long … making it a bit of a joke (hence you are the topic of my blog).
In sports history, we’ve seen long drawn out events. And let’s be honest. If you outlast them, you know you are a wasting our time.
For example: Brett Farve decided to return to the Vikings (again), and that usually takes the entire off-season.
Another example: Barry Bonds says, “I did not use steroids” … for 3 years.
A final example: Chris Chelios played in the NHL way past his prime … which was in the 1930’s.
Ilya … you are quickly falling into this category. And that’s embarrassing. So here is what we are going to do. Pick one of the following options, and go with it.
#1 - Sign a NORMAL deal and stay in New Jersey. Keeping me confused as to why an offensive player like you would play in a defensive system like that.
#2 - Sign in Los Angeles … like you should have awhile ago.
#3 - Take your talents to South Beach. It’s all the rage right now.
#4 - Go to Russia … or the Soviet wherever, and come back when your wallet is big enough to crush your giant inflated head.
#5 - Sign in Toronto for rookie salary, learn to play tough, adjust your attitude, and all is forgiven.
Ilya, all hockey fans are begging you. End this. Now.
Cheers,
Blaine
